« Pepsi for One »

You'd think that with all the nights I have spent to myself, I would have developed a drinking problem by now. Or at least started to drink.

A column and a bona fide news article is coming your way for Wednesday's BG News.

If I drink Starbucks coffee, I better have Survivor singing a song about me in my kitchen too.

If there is less than the normal amount of sugar in a can of Pepsi, people will recognize it and buy it only if they're into diet cola.

There sure are a lot of dirty cups on my desk.

As phone technology increases, the rings get increasingly annoying -- where's the technology for that?

Gay marriage is a threat to the sanctity of marriage -- but it's fifth on the list. Outranking it is adultery, domestic violence, Las Vegas and celebrity weddings.

Instead, they should make an Amendment making it illegal for Paris Hilton to be on camera.

Randy Johnson is frustrated in Arizona. Getting into an altercation with Luis Gonzalez, one of the most amiable players in the game, is a big sign. Trade him to the Anaheim Angels for David Eckstein and Francisco Rodriguez. Trade Robby Alomar to the Yankees for a minor leaguer. Randy Johnson will be the first D-Back in the hall of fame.

More people should be worried about the global problem of overpopulation and the increasing life expectancy.

Why is everyone all about the new King Arthur movie? Everyone has clearly forgetten that Graham Chapman was the best King Arthur in the history of film.

I have longer hair than most lesbians.

The musical from "Final Fantasy III" is severly underrated. Someone could pay royalties to that composer and turn them into a good album.

If I had a computer that worked, I wouldn't need to punch strangers.

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Thank you for reading some of my most inner thoughts. Print this out and give it to a shrink for a free session.
- posted by Suss @ 10:19 PM | Permanent Link To This Post