« Things people don't know »

When the times comes, they look to me to show them things that they don't know. These are things they thought they knew, but they just don't.

1. We are also fighting in Afghanistan. Ex-NFL player Pat Tillman, who died in Afghanistan Thursday, left a $3.6 million contract to play for the AZ Cardinals on the table a couple years ago to go and fight for our country. His death signifies that we actually have troops in Afghanistan, which might shut up those people who don't think we are bringing the war to the terrorists.

2. 'Melty' is not a word. Taco Bell can keep trying to use the world 'melty' in their commercials, but they're wrong when they use it, for it lacks existence as a real word.

3. Middle-aged men shouldn't party with college students. You hear about it and you laugh. You see it and you cry. I don't know if you're trying to act cool, or if you're just doing an ironic Larry Eustachy impression, but it has to stop. BG News fellas know who I'm talking about.

4. There are not enough websites like www.subservientchicken.com. Basically you type into the command line what you want the man in the chicken costume to do, and he does it, more or less. If you need suggestions, tell him to walk like an Egyptian, to do a disco dance, to watch TV, to stand on a chair, or to juggle something.

5. Songs from five years ago are not considered "back in the day." If Blink 182's "Dammit" or Three Doors Down's "Kryptonite" comes on, don't exclaim how that "takes you back." That's not much of a trip back. Since it's 2004, maybe ten years ago is back in the day, but I still don't see how Alice in Chains is nostalgic. How's about this: the farthest back I will say counts as "back in the day" is Fine Young Cannibals.

6. That weird guy with the huge pecs peddling the abs video is a complete tool. I don't know the guy's name, but he's on TV and he has that face that makes you believe his ass was kicked so much in high school that he trained real hard and wants to "show them a thing or two about kicking ass" but unfortunately everyone grew up and got real jobs. Nice run-on sentence, eh? Anyways I'm sick of that guy.

This almost constitutes as a Gripe Time. Haven't done one of those in a while, but maybe Things People Don't Know is related to Gripe Time. Maybe they're second cousins.
- posted by Suss @ 6:44 PM | Permanent Link To This Post