January 07, 2004
 
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My Celebrity Dead Pool picks won't be posted for a couple weeks, so I'll hold off on announcing them. I have no reason why, I'm just stubborn like that.

The year known as 2003 was cruel to many celebrities who didn't make it. How does someone like John Ritter not survive, while the Angel of Death spared Roy Horn AND my dog Sophie? While I meditate on this (sleep for long periods during daylight hours), here's some of my 15 favorite celebrity obituaries as told by the good people at stiffs.com:

Fred Rogers (02/27)
There goes the neighborhood.

Edwin Starr (03/31)
What is he good for? Absolutely nothin' (say it again).

Dave DeBusschere (05/14)
DeCeased.

Buddy Ebsen (07/06)
Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Bud,
Ninety-five and happy as a hog in the mud,
And then one day, he was chewin' on some food,
And in through the door come The Adios Dude.
Death, that is ...
Black Knight ...
Mr. D ....

Well, the first thing you know, Bud's cryin' like a girl,
Death said, "You're the biggest pussy in the world."
Said, "Purgatory is the place you ought to be,"
So he pulled out his plug, and Buddy drew a Z.
Died, that is ...
Screwed the pooch ...
Bought the farm ....

Gregory Hines (08/09)
Tapped out.

Herb Brooks (08/11)
Do you believe in Herbsicles? YES!

Charles Bronson (08/30)
Wish granted.

John Ritter (09/11)
We've been waiting for you (we've been waiting for you).

Johnny Cash (09/12)
Spent.

Sheb Wooley (09/16)
He was a one-hit, one-joke guy from 50 years ago,
One-hit, one-joke guy from 50 years ago,
A one-hit, one-joke guy from 50 years ago,
Now he's history.

Althea Gibson (09/28)
'Thea later.

Rod Roddy (10/27)
Come on down!

Bobby Hatfield (11/05)
He's lost all thought and feeling. The cause? Unnamed malady.

Art Carney (11/09)
Tragically felled by the anti-Norton virus.

Speedy West (11/15)
Make that south, and completely stationary.

And the first one of the new year:
Tug McGraw (01/05)
Apparently, believing wasn't enough.


POKER POT, POKER POT, POKER POT PIIIIIIIE -- Some comedian guy named David Cross won last night's Celebrity Poker Challenge, although it wasn't "last night," but in reality a much earlier date. He made a huge comeback, albeit against world-class competition such as Tom Green and the lead singer from Creed.

With the final game next week, I would have liked to see David Cross play against Hank Azaria (only so he can play his Simpsons voices at the table), Timothy Busfield (in hopes of a sudden electric violin solo), Shannon Elizabeth (eye candy, solely), and Don Cheadle (don't know him, but he's a "brother" so that might be fun)

Speaking of David Cross, have you seen Arrested Development? You have? Good.


IF ONLY BEN GAY LIVED UP TO HIS POTENTIAL... Voting is still open for the 3rd Annual All-Name Team. Haven't gotten thousands of votes yet, maybe I should start telling people about it...


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