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BONUS SUSSMAN TANGENT
This list on the FOX Sports website (complied by SportingNews.com) is kinda neat, in that it says who has the most power in sports. The Power 100, as they call it, puts the president of ESPN on the top. This is the list:
(Rank) (Last Year's Rank) (Name) (Job) (Why he shouldn't be so high on the list)

1 (4) George Bodenheimer, Prez., ESPN -- You gave the go ahead to Cold Pizza. Someone oughta put you in the microwave and throw your crust away.
2 (2) Paul Tagliabue, NFL Commish -- You haven't done anything wrong. You seem to have all the answers. But I can see through you, Pauly. You're goin' down.
3 (6) Phil Knight, Prez., Nike -- You finally start giving children their just wages, and it happens to be an 18-year old from Akron and a 13-year old soccer player. And neither of them had played a nanosecond of professional sports.
4 (3) Bud Selig, MLB Commish -- Technically that makes you the commissioner of the Montreal Expos. Your team sucks, Bud.
5 (19T) John Swofford, ACC Commish -- Just when parity sweeps college football and basketball, you reaffirm that amateur sports is all about money for those who are in your shoes, and not for any of the players.
6 (5) David Stern, NBA Commish -- You're so fucking short.
7 (22) Bob Kain, IMG Co-CEO -- I think IMG is some kind of sports agency.
8 (NR) Mark Schweitzer, (NR) Michael Robichaud, Nextel bigwigs -- You spent three-quarters of a billion dollars on something that was called NASCAR, and it will still be called NASCAR. Nobody calls it Winston anymore, and I hate that commercial where the bride and groom get married through those walkie-talkies.
9 (1) George Steinbrenner, Yankees owner -- How insensitive am I when I point out that the Bronx Bombers haven't won a World Series since the 9/11 attacks? Ok, I won't say that. Instead, how about George put away that fat wallet and let his players play?
10 (8) David Hill, FOX Sports CEO -- Whatever happened to Pat Summerall, you pinhead?

11 (9) August Busch IV and Tony Penturo, Prez. and VP of Anheuser-Busch -- Your commercials are rock solid, but how can you drink responsibly when you air TV spots during college football games? And it took thiiiiiiiiis long to get those Real Men of Genius from radio to TV.
12 (13) Roger Goodell, Exec. VP and COO of NFL -- What good is the NFL Channel if it... get this... doesn't have any games on it? We call that in the business "false advertising."
13 (10) Gary Bettman, NHL Commish -- Yeah, too bad your league's gonna fold and the Red Wings will finally win a championship for Moscow in three years.
14 (NR) Paul Fireman, Reebok Chairman -- You make non-Nike shoes. So what? Are you like the Red Sox of footwear? (that's about half a pun)
15 (14) Mark Shapiro, ESPN Exec. VP -- So it was you who messed up the Rush Limbaugh era of ESPN.
16 (11) Bill France Jr., NASCAR Vice-Chairman -- Hey, quit making so many races, wouldya?
17 (Sports Executives #6) Brian France, NASCAR Chairman -- Who wears the pants in the family?
18 (18) Ed Goren, FOX Sports Executive Producer -- Thanks to you, it was because of Hank Blalock that the World Series finished in New York City, thereby avoiding the apocalypse and bringing back the summer classic as a mainstay in sports culture. Yeah, grow up. It could still end in a tie.
19 (20) Bob DuPuy, MLB COO -- Coo-coo ka-choo. So what?
20 (16) Bruce McMillan, Prez., Electronic Arts -- Shame on you for giving John Madden the sense of pride that his video games make him important, when all we want to do is hear his ramblings, such as "Obviously this guy thinks he can complete passes and he can't." You're playing with fire, scarecrow.

80 more names to go, and I quit. Read the list on your own.

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MAYBE THEY SHOULD GET CARSON DALY TO JUMP A SHARK ON HIS SKIS Reality TV takes a cruel turn, against its will. (Note: that rape joke isn't nearly as bad as the article itself.)

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE READY TO GO BACK TO COLLEGE WHEN you stack your pop cans in your room so high that you accidentally pray to it, mistaking the Sierra Mist/Squirt/A&W/Sunkist tower as a totem pole.
- posted by Suss @ 1:40 AM | Permanent Link To This Post